Humans of NY Blog Post

 

What was the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?

 

My now ex-husband was going out for dinner and a date one night and we walked into the movie theater, and I was holding the popcorn, soda stuff and candy. And I was trying to get to my seat too quickly and for some reason the lights came on and there were a whole bunch of people in there and I fell and found everybody looking right at me, and I was wicked embarrassed, but it was funny, though, like--I started laughing at myself because. I looked like an idiot and it was funny. I was just, like “KAHPLAT” *makes cartoonish crashing sound* and freaking the soda went one way and the popcorn went another. And I didn't even still go to pick up my candy. I was so embarrassed I just went over to my seat and sat down and didn't get up again until the movie was over. My husband at the time thought it was funny too. He laughed his ass off at me ‘cause he thought it was hilarious. 

 

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What was the happiest moment in your life? 

 

“When I had my daughter  'cause I had just had a C-section for my first child and I really wanted a boy and a girl. And I wanted a girl the regular labor way like I didn’t wanna have to have another C-section. 

Because I wanted to experience what it was like to give birth the natural way because I knew that when I found out you were a girl, I wanted it to be all done with having kids. But I wanted to have the experience of childbirth like that, so I was happy. It was important to me because I knew that. She was my last child that I was going to be birthing out of my body. So that and the fact that. I was so happy because everything went OK 'cause it was -- there were some scares at first. She was getting stuck in my pelvis and her head wasn't turning the right way. It is important that a baby is born a certain way so that there's no complications when they try to pull you out and your head is not the right way. I think it's like she was facing up and. She was supposed to be facing down I think, and also she was so big that she was kind of getting stuck in my pelvis and I was clenching up so they needed me to relax so that she could come out. So there was just some concern that I might end up having to have a C-section again because they weren't sure if she was going to come out naturally, but she did and I was bawling my eyes out and crying and happy because of the fact that she was a girl and I was able to have her by natural childbirth. It was an experience I always wanted to have. It was very painful.  But it was still cool to experience it. I knew I wanted my last birthing of a child to be the way I wanted. You know, I don't wanna have to make exceptions. And plus it was just like “Oh my, my life is complete. I have my son and my daughter.”

I was more happy than I've ever been–no, I shouldn't say that. I was extremely…I was elated with that experience. 

 

 

 

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What was the saddest moment in your life? 

The saddest moment was when I found out that my husband was using drugs, and when I realized how bad it was. I was on my way back home and all of a sudden all of my then sister in laws decided to come to the house and they said they wanted to have a talk with me. I was confused as to why they wanted to do that, at the time it seemed random. I remember one of my sister in laws came out to the car and sat in the passenger side–I had been driving. I forget where I was coming from. I think I had been running errands or something. Anyways, one  of my sister in laws sat next to me and she said, “Julie, I have to tell you something” And she and I said “What?” And she said “Your husband is using drugs” And it felt like someone stabbed me directly in my heart. It literally felt like a humongous slice stabbed into my heart that day and I just sat there in shock for a while and then just started crying because it was a sad day for me to discover that. It was so sad and shocking 'cause I really didn't know. So that would have to be the saddest day. It was really a shock for me. You gotta understand I'm not very familiar with the drug world and all that stuff and addicts can be really good liars– I hate to say these things, but– you know what I'm talking about? But so it's hard to…I was kind of naive and I didn't notice the signs. I was believing my significant other when he lied and said that it was someone else. He was saying that it was someone else in the family that was using drugs, but he was the one using drugs. And so I believed him. It was so devastating because I felt betrayed. When I did find out the signs, like when I added two and two together, I'm like, “Now it makes sense.” You know, it's like when you are in a relationship with someone and you really didn't know that other person was cheating, you find out that they are and you're like holy crap. It's like you're getting slapped in the face–more like being stabbed in the face. So after my sister in law broke the news to me I went and confronted him about it. It was kind of like an intervention. That's why four of his sisters came over, along with his parents and stuff. That's also why they didn't give me any warning in advance – the thing is they saw signs because he had had a problem before, when he was in high school. They were surprised that I didn't see the signs, but the thing is I'd never had a person who was doing those things before. But if you've never been exposed, then it's hard to see it sometimes. 

When I talked to him I insisted that he go get help. As a matter of fact I ended up taking him to the hospital that night because initially you have to bring the person to the hospital and then you get them enrolled in some kind of program. So I did that with him, brought him to the hospital, and stayed with him while they tried to help him withdraw. And then I think he was there for a couple of days. 

And then after he was admitted to some place. But it was a short term place. So he wasn’t in there very long. 

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